Sleep Eludes Me...

Night two of less than four hours of sleep. I suppose that remains to be seen for this night. I do love the quiet. Quiet only happens between about 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. at our house. The little ones rise early.
This past week my baby turned two. Much more of an ordeal for me emotionally than I expected. I found it difficult to even talk about it without crying. I have an uncanny attachment and desire for babies. More babies. This however, is not what God would have for me at this time. I've never had anyone turn two without already having a baby or being pregnant with one. I think that not being pregnant makes me feel old as well. I've been praying through this and have no idea if the feelings will one day subside. Will I always feel this joy and pain when I see an infant? I don't know but I trust the Lord to help me deal with these emotions. I am interested to see how it will all play out. I can never predict how God will shape me or what insights He will give me. I am glad that I have this experience for I know I'm not alone and I can comfort other women who feel the same way. I know that my friends who are older always say how quickly the time goes and how they can remember the days so clearly when their own children were young. I believe them. My eldest is seven and I remember the day we brought her home from the hospital, what she was wearing, what I was wearing, the weather conditions, etc. Now she wants to watch American Idol and has opinions about the performers. How did this happen so quickly?
Lord, sustain my feeble frame, my ever changing emotions and let me only point my little girls to you. Let me rest upon your never changing qualities in this ever changing world. You are my rock, my fortress and my deliverer. What would I do without your counsel? Surely I would lay down and never rise. I go forward into obedience only by your grace.

puppy and peace

When I read the posts of others I really enjoy learning more about each individual. I seem to learn more of life and more about myself when I get to know others. I wonder if anyone wants to hear about my thoughts and ramblings... whether they do or not it's therapy just to type.
We are a family of 7 now as we added a dog over Christmas. I know, I said I wouldn't until Savannah was at least three but we couldn't pass up this deal and especially the perfect age to give to them for christmas morning. He's a cutie pie. I'd never heard of Silver Labrador Retrievers before but if you google them you'll see some pics of what Beau looks like. He's really a good looking dog. With a dog comes the chewing, peeing and pooping in strange places. For example if it's rainy or cold he just goes in the patio instead of taking the 10 steps to his other favorite place, my flower bed. oh well. I'm checking in to doggy school soon. We'll have him so smart he'll be doing the laundry. I wish. Maybe our next pet can be a robot maid!!! ha!! At least this go around with the doggy I'm able to relax because he's outside most of the time. Key here is to get a big dog... or at least he will be a big dog.
I must go. I hear Savannah waking from her nap much to early but I'm always happy to see her!! If you find me here and want to reconnect look me up on Facebook. I check pretty much everyday. I hope this finds you in peace with your mind stayed upon Christ who is our rock and fortress.